Do We Need a Big Wedding? Why a Small Wedding Might Be Just Right for You
For many couples, once they decide to get married, they can quickly become overwhelmed by everything that seems to come with the word wedding. Where will they hold the ceremony? What about the reception? Who will be in the wedding party? How many guests will they invite? And perhaps the biggest question of all: what is this going to cost?
But deciding to get married doesn't mean you have to organise a big wedding. Of course, you absolutely can if that's what you want. But your wedding can have 100 guests, 30 guests, ten guests, or simply the two of you and the two witnesses you need to make it legal.
A wedding doesn't have to be big to be meaningful. The important thing is working out what kind of celebration actually feels right for the two of you.
Why are more couples choosing smaller weddings?
There is currently a trend in Australia towards smaller weddings, as reported by the ABC in June this year. While cost might seem like the obvious reason, there are plenty of other reasons why couples may decide that a smaller wedding is right for them.
Some couples simply want something more relaxed and intimate, without the formality that can come with a larger wedding. For others, the thought of being the centre of attention in front of a large group of people can be daunting, and keeping the guest list small can make the whole experience feel much more comfortable.
Complicated family situations can also make a smaller wedding appealing. Couples marrying for the second time may feel they've already had the big celebration and would prefer something more intimate this time around. And, of course, for some couples it does come down to money. They may be able to afford a larger wedding but would simply rather spend that money on something else.
What actually counts as a small wedding?
Well, there’s no official definition. What feels small to one couple may seem like a large wedding to another. Some of my Indian couples talk about having a second ceremony in India with around 1,000 people – so a wedding with 100 guests here can feel quite small by comparison!
A legals-only wedding often has just the couple and their two witnesses. This is the minimum number of people required for a legal wedding, and sometimes I even provide the witnesses myself.
An elopement may include just a handful of family members or friends. Originally, the term ‘elopement’ referred to a couple marrying without telling anyone, but these days it tends to be used more broadly for a very small, intimate wedding.
A minimony or micro wedding usually caters for a few more guests, although there’s no set number. My own minimony-style ceremonies don’t include the couple’s personal story and generally last around 10–15 minutes.
And a smaller traditional wedding can include all the elements of a larger one – an entrance, personal vows, the couple’s story, music and a ring exchange – simply with fewer guests. One of my all-time favourite ceremonies was just the couple, with their photographer and my husband as their witnesses. It included music, their personal story and vows, and a ring exchange – almost all the traditional elements, just without an entrance or wedding party.
Does a small wedding still feel like a “real” wedding?
That really depends on your definition of a ‘real wedding’. When I think about what creates the feeling of a wedding, it isn’t the number of guests. At its heart, it’s about two people making a lifelong commitment to each other, and you don’t need a room full of people for that to feel significant.
You can still have the people who matter most there with you. You can have a beautiful ceremony, make an entrance to music, exchange personal vows and rings, and have a photographer there to capture those special moments.
And afterwards, you can still eat cake, pop the champagne and celebrate however you like. None of those things requires 100 guests.
What can we leave out?
Basically, whatever you don’t want. As long as you include the legal components, almost everything else is optional.
You can include any of the traditional elements that you love, but if you don’t want attendants, an aisle entrance, readings, a lengthy ceremony or a formal reception, you don’t need to have them. There’s no reason to include something simply because you feel it’s what you’re ‘supposed’ to do.
Choose the elements that mean something to you and leave out the rest.
Will we regret not having everyone there?
Rather than choosing a number first, think about the people you genuinely want beside you when you get married. Who are the people you simply can’t imagine that moment without? That can be a much better starting point for your guest list than deciding that you should have a certain number of guests.
And remember, a small wedding doesn’t mean you can’t celebrate with a wider group of people later. My lovely daughter Michelle married with just her and her partner’s families present. At a later date, they hired a hall and invited a much wider group of friends to celebrate their marriage with them. It worked perfectly for them.
Can a small ceremony still be personal?
I do love an intimate ceremony that includes those special personal touches. From the couple I mentioned earlier, who included their love story even though it was just the two of them, to a couple I married yesterday, who had about 15 guests and invited a friend to talk about the part she’d played in encouraging their relationship, those little touches can make a wedding feel extra special.
You might include your story as a couple, exchange personal vows, have a reading, or involve the guests who are there in some way. In fact, with only a handful of people present, these moments can feel particularly intimate because everyone there is part of them.
What are the legal requirements for a very small wedding in Australia?
The minimum requirements for a wedding are simple: an authorised celebrant, the couple and two witnesses aged 18 or over, plus the required legal wording and paperwork.
Your Wedding Doesn’t Have to Be Bigger to Matter
A small wedding isn’t a lesser version of a big wedding. You’re not missing out simply because you have fewer people watching you make your promises to each other.
Whether you have 100 guests, 30, ten, or just the two witnesses you need to make it legal, what matters is that your wedding feels right for you. Include the traditions you love, leave out the ones you don’t, and invite the people you genuinely want beside you.
Because ultimately, it isn’t the size of the guest list that makes a wedding meaningful. It’s the commitment you’re making and the way you choose to celebrate it.
Frequently Asked Questions
How many guests are considered a small wedding?
There’s no official number. What feels like a small wedding to one couple might seem quite large to another. A small wedding might have 30 or 40 guests, while an intimate wedding could have fewer than ten. Rather than worrying too much about the label, think about the number of people you genuinely want to share the day with.
What is a micro wedding?
A micro wedding is generally a small wedding with a limited guest list, but there’s no official definition or set number of guests. It can still include many of the elements of a traditional wedding, such as an entrance, personal vows, rings, music, photography and a celebration afterwards.
Can we get married with just two witnesses in Australia?
Yes. You don’t need to have guests at your wedding, but you do need two witnesses who are at least 18 years old, as well as an authorised marriage celebrant. So your wedding can be as small as the two of you, your celebrant and your two witnesses.
Is a small wedding always cheaper?
Usually but not necessarily, although having fewer guests can certainly reduce some of the biggest wedding expenses. A small wedding can still be as simple or as elaborate as you choose. You might decide to keep everything low-key, or you might spend more on the things that really matter to you because you’re catering for fewer people.
How can we make a small wedding feel special?
Include the things that are meaningful to you. You might exchange personal vows, include your story as a couple, choose special music, have a reading, involve the guests who are there, exchange rings or arrange a lovely meal afterwards. A small guest list doesn’t mean your wedding has to feel stripped back – unless, of course, that’s exactly what you want.
If you have any questions about getting married, feel free to get in touch. I'm always happy to help make the process as easy and stress-free as possible.
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